Friday, December 4

Are you kidding me?

Went to see an NYU: TISCH Graduate School play yesterday.
Went with my good, great, wonderful friend, AMC.
Was sooo very excited, because we like the playwright.
Thought it might be good, being that it's <dramatic chord sound> NYU.

(Here's where you all think positively about your upcoming theatre experience... have daisies and tulips and cookies dancing about in your stomach in anticipation...
wanting this to be a good time.)
---
(and then the play begins...)
---
(and you become ANGRY within the first 5 seconds.)

Question: Have you ever wanted to get up on the stage, as an audience member and scream to the actors any of the following sentences:

a. I DON'T BELIEVE YOU!
b. WHY IS THERE SO MUCH FIGHT CHOREOGRAPHY? THIS ISN'T A SCENE FROM "FIGHT CLUB".
c. HOW CAN YOU EMOTE? YOU DIDN'T EVEN HEAR THE LAST THING HE SAID!!
d. PUT A BRA ON! YOUR NIPPLES ARE DISTRACTING ME FROM YOUR BAD ACTING?
e. PLEASE STOP THE ANAL RAPE! I GET IT.
f. TALK TO EACH OTHER!!!! YOU ARE NOT IN A DADA-IST PLAY!
g. WHY IS THERE SO MUCH FRENCH IN A PLAY WRITTEN BY A HISPANIC WRITER?
h. WHY?!?!?!?! WHYYYY?!?!?!?!?! WHY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Those actors should be slapped.

Here's where you say: WHY? It can be a 3 way SLAPPING!!

ACTORS, DIRECTOR and PLAYWRIGHT.

And you know what? You... yes YOU, are RIGHT.
All three should be blamed.
Should be. But inevitably...

Actors are always blamed.
It's our job to bring the playwright's words and story to life.
It's our job to bring the director's vision to fruition.
It's our job to fulfill the actions and be open to the possibilities of each moment.
It's our job.
If you can't do your job, you should be fired.
(Yes, I said that.)

THESE ACTORS MADE MY ASS TWITCH.
Let me be perfectly clear: I am not saying that I think NYU's program sucks.
I am saying that this particular group of actors
in this production that I saw last night
SUCKED.

I mean... what are you striving for, people?

(The play was about sex trafficking and how we barter emotions, sex, bodies, etc.)

The playwright has given you an extremely GENERAL place to start from, I know.

But CMON! Is NOTHING in this world important to you? That you'd give anything for? That you'd risk HELL for? That you'd sell your soul for?
...


...

silence?
Wow.
Then, why are you an actor?

1 comment:

  1. Ha!! You should see some of the stuff on BROADWAY!! It'll make you want to do the same thing.

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