Monday, January 17

Pedestrian Terror!!!!


Bicycle on the sidewalk!!!
Bicycle on the sidewalk!!!
Bicycle on the sidewalk!!!
Bicycle on the sidewalk!!!
Bicycle on the sidewalk!!!
Bicycle on the sidewalk!!!

Son-of-a-LEMUR, You almost killed me!!!

Yo! I get it. You need to get somewhere.
I do too.
You have wheels.
I don't.
But they have a place for people with wheels.
It's called... A STREET.
Do you see pedestrians walking super fast amongst the cars and honking with handheld horns, getting the cars to move out of the way because they're walking?

Chinese Food/Pizza Delivery dude?
Unless you are coming up to your destination immediately, why are you endangering my life? Why are bobbing and weaving out of the crowds like you're on a crash course?
This is my sidewalk.
Not riding. Not rolling.

Are you thinking to yourself...
"Feisty Actress... Why are you being so conservatively boring?"???
B*tch please! Have you been hit by a bicyclist while walking on the sidewalk?
2 bruises, a scraped hand and a punch in the dude's face later, I can proudly say that I hate people who ride their bikes where they shouldn't.

There's a bike lane.
Afraid of the other rolling machines, aka cars, buses and trucks?

YOU SHOULD BE!!!Be afraid. Be very afraid.
The fear that they instill in you is the fear you instill on every poor pedestrian in your path.
Vengeance is best served cold.
How was the ride towards the pavement, sucka?

Sunday, January 16

Word Up!

When did word choice become chic?

When did BIG WORDS equal intelligence?
(is intelligence considered a big word? do i get into the club?)

I've been sitting around a lot of people lately, and these are people that I love, who hopefully love me... But I'm sitting around these people, and they're using all of these SPELLING BEE words to describe how they're doing or feeling about one thing or the other... and I feel like I need a PD to keep up.

Believe me, I have a love of the English language.
I love the lexicon and all that it provides.
But why does it seem like my brain needs the LAMENT'S TERMS version of everything?

I have a Bachelor's degree. (so?)
I also have an Master's degree. (more loan paying for you!)
And forget about where I got degrees from, and the level of education that they "afforded" me...

But why do I feel like you're trying to make me feel small with what your saying?
Is it how you're saying it?

Perhaps it's just my Ego...
Perhaps I'm too sensitive to your tone of voice...
Perhaps you are more learn├ęd than I...

The shortest distance between 2 points is a straight line, so why don't you just get to the point and forget about the flowery dressing? Is anyone else impressed by your d├ęcoupage? (do i get points for that word?)

Anyway... I guess I just wish people could be flat and honest and would leave the frosting on the cake, instead of wearing it too.