Tuesday, June 28

Summer Fashion?? Summer Trashin??

OMG! the temperature has reached 70 degrees and more in city.

( insert lackluster display of emotion.)

DUH! this is what happens in the SUMMER.
Get over it!
It gets HOT in NYC and it gets Humid.
Don't like it??

But unlike most years, in Summer 2011 a plethora of species came out of the woodwork
who had been in hiberation, like bears in their dens.

Take out your binoculars, folks!
See if you're standing, sitting, talking to one of these beauties.

The No Bra Beetles
You have decided that the heat that 1 piece of clothing offers is TOO much.
You are just gonna rock out with your nips out.
Seriously... your protrusions are distracting and unnecessary
when I'm walking around doing my grocery shopping.
This is not even the FROZEN section!!!!
They are out and about like it's 20 degrees.
Big boobs. Little boobs.
I seriously doubt that THAT piece of clothing is making you sweat more.
On top of that, you are FLOPPING around, and not in a cute way.
Don't you want some support?
Even if you have pert and perky boobs, I'm trying to figure out if they're fake or real.
There are far too many inventions in the lingerie world for you to not wear something.

Funky Frumps
Do you not wear DEO for a reason?
Did you forget to reapply 5 hours later?
Have you been rolling around in dirt, stinky cheese, curry and onions?
You are offending my senses.
My eyes are watering from your smell. That's how bad it is.
I can't think.
All I'm thinking about is vomitting or running for my life.
Especially on the train.
We're all cramped and pushed up on one another and then you gotta stink??
If you are homeless, I get it.
The heat mixed with your lack of water and soap equals stench.
But if you are not a homeless, WHAT is your EXCUSE???
Are you trying to attract a Goblin?

Somethings are best left on a magazine or model.
Even Nikki Minaj can't pull off this "outfit" on that cover.
She looks a HOT MESS!
Ladies, if you can't fit into a bandeau... don't wear it.
If you have more rolls than a bakery...
don't put them in some shorts and on the street for all to peruse your wares.
Too much CELLULITE on the street blinds me
from the red and green lights that I should be paying attention to,
so that I don't get hit by a bus.

Attack of the Sockfoot Sandal
Are your feet that jacked up, gentlemen?
Got some serious hangnails???
Please STOP doing this!!!!!!
It is not attractive.
Look! I know, I know!
Dior says that socks with heeled sandals are Fashionable now.
But THIS is NOT a Dior look that I'm talkin' about.
Yo Adidas flat sandals and yo Marshalls ankle socks are NOT cool.
And aren't yo feet hot???

train characters - 2 fold.

While sitting on the 6 train, I have realized that there are many interesting people on this train. I used to complain about UPPER EAST SIDE people being too bougy for even me.

But then I saw this. ----------------->
please note my sneaky photo skills. i'm getting better with practice.

BROTHA!! Really???
What's up with the bike jammed between yo legs??

Is it yours?

It's a bit small, yes?

And... wait... what is that on your right???
Those of you who are staring at the photo can probably notice the little head on the lower left.....


Are you that tired???

I guess so!

Cuz you are KNOCKED the F out.

The homeless man who screams really loudly about needed a warm dinner for his 4 children came and went.

The horrible saxophone player came on and played "The Saints Come Marching In".

And 2 groups of girls talking about how "brothas be trippin' and sweatin' my @ss" got on and off circa 103rd street.

And you did NOT wake up.

And let's talk about the obvious litter on the floor in front of your sleeping body??
Could your dad, who I assume is the person who you're sleeping near, not pick up that piece of trash because of your bike between his legs? Or just pure laziness prevented him or YOU from doing basic duties as a person in this city??

ALSO.... you are taking up at least 3 people's seats!!!!!!!!
That's just RUDE.