Body Pride #2

BOOM, B*TCH!!!!

IN YO FACE!!!

When I was at least 8 years old, my dad taught me how to defend myself against an attacker.

And it definitely involved AN ELBOW to the face.

Honestly... Elbows are some of the oddest things in the world.

And inevitably, I always end up staring at them.

Why??????
They're weird.

They bend.
There's extra skin.
And that extra skin folds up in a nasty, wrinkled, hairless cat sort of way.

When you hit them in just the right spot, it hurts like THE DICKENS.

Btw... what the HELL does that mean: "THE DICKENS"???
Did Charles Dickens do anything to offend anyone so much that when "THE DICKENS" happens, everyone thinks it's the worst thing? What did he do?


But honestly... Miss Havisham probably had some wrinkly elbows.


My mom always told me to not put them on the table when I was eating.
I listened.

As a Black woman, I constantly have to rub lotion on them, so I don't get the ugly GREY ASHY look.

Also, I noticed recently that I tend to wear my long sleeved sweaters rolled up past my elbows. What's that about?? I guess I'm proud of them.

Yeah... ELBOW.
Throwin' them bows, indeed, Luda. Thank you!

1am rhetorical questions

Why do you NOT answer my texts??


WHY is a very hard thing to answer, isn't it?


subquestions:
are they rude?
do they offend you?
do they suggest something to you other than what is written?

if the answer is NO to any or all of the subquestions, then next question is...

...Why do i consider you a friend?

Food for thought.

Body Pride

why are there people,

most specifically men,
who put up pictures of their 4-6-8 pack abs
all over Facebook/YouTube/Instagram/etc.???

i get it! you work out.

believe me, i'm proud of you.

But... Seriously?

Oh! you are serious.

Ok.
i'm gonna start putting up pictures of random parts of my body.
let's see how you like that.

1st up.

MY EAR.

Hot stuff, right???

Look at that lobe.

Oo!!!
And a piercing!!!

Look at the sloping of the concha.
And curvature of that helix.

If you're not turned on, I suggest you take a second look.
The anatomy of THE EAR is amazing.
You know you want this!

Keyser Söze knows Shakespeare??

Before things jump off:

SHOUTS OUT to the company that shall remain anonymous for giving me FREE tickets. For those who don't know me...

You say: "Feisty Actress... This hot dog is FREE!"

I say: "SHUTTUP! It's MINE."

Not only was I seated in the ORCHESTRA.
But I was CENTER ORCHESTRA.
And only about 6 rows away from the action.
My friend, LC and I had the best seats in the house!!!
BOOM!!!
AWESOME.

Okay... here we go...

RICHARD III

"Now is the winter of our discontent
Made glorious summer by this sun of York;
And all the clouds that lour'd upon our house
In the deep bosom of the ocean buried."

Wait... Hold up!!!

Keyser Söze???

AHHH!!! Whatchu doin' here????

OH SH*T!!!!!!!!!!!

I say: Ooo Gurl... This gotta be good... Right??

You say: RIGHT!!!

3 hours and 1 intermission later....

WHAT THE EXPLETIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Keyser Söze.

(shakin' my head)

Keyser.

(taking a moment.)

• Q1: WHY ARE YOU YELLING HALF OF YOUR LINES?????????????
• Q2: WHY ARE YOU MUMBLING THE OTHER HALF??????????????
• Q3: DO YOU REALIZE THAT PUTTING WEIGHT ON THE 'LIMP' LEG IS COUNTER-INTUITIVE??? WHY EVEN HAVE THE CANE???
• Q4: IF RICHARD HAS A HUMP and A LIMP and was BORN THIS WAY, DON'T YOU THINK HE WOULD'VE MASTERED HIS PHYSICALITY INSTEAD OF LOOKING LIKE HE WAS ABOUT TO TOLL THE BELLS OF THE CATHEDRAL??
• Q5: DID THE DIRECTOR JUST LET YOU DO WHATEVER YOU WANT???
  

Because... you just MASTURBATED all over that stage and I feel like a bit sticky.
And not the kind of SPEWY that makes you luxuriate in the "WOW! we just shared something." But it was the kind of SPUNK that makes you wanna shower and gargle and disinfect everything.

You know what... You get how I feel.
Let's talk about it in PERSON.

xxx

MTA. i hate you.

dear M116 bus,

you are the SLOWEST bus ever.
In fact, one could wait an hour, and you will will not show up.
what is the deal?

did I walk from lenox ave. to my apartment at 1.30am?

did a nice, though SKETCHY looking, Hispanic man on a bike ask me, in Spanish no less, if i needed someone to walk with me??
when i said "No, gracias" (aka the only Spanish I could muster in my sleepy state), did he still walk ahead of me?
And did I feel like I had a Dominican Kevin Costner??

M116 bus, you do NOT complete me.

regards,
me

HURRY my CANE!

Damn!!! This weekend was boring.

I painted my toes 4 times.

Yes, 4 times!

My 2 grandmothers combined could've caused more HYPE & destruction than this hurricane in NYC.

Mind you... I have North Carolina and the Bahamas in my thoughts. They were slammed and do not wish their fate on NYC.

But...

I do have a few things to say about this whole weeekend.

F. U. Irene.

F. U. MTA for not being gangsta enough! I had places to be.

F.U. Weather.com and Weather Channel in extension.

You scared all of us into a stupor!

F.U. crazy Upper East Siders!!

You all made supermarkets unapproachable with your organic food needs. Seriously?? You need 3 boxes of organic juice during a possible crisis??

F.U. television.

(I don't even have cable, and yet I know that t

here was nothing on TV.)

F.U. everyone who kept saying on Facebook

that we were all gonna die.

Honestly... if we're all gonna die, the last thing I want to read

on my social network is your call of distress.

F.U. Religionists.

(do you want me to go there? 'cuz I will... nah! you don't want it.)

Have a nice day!

~Feisty

Support???

YO, BITCHES!

Please support this show & Sanguine Theatre Company!

(I'm in it. BOOM!)

Even a $1 would be appreciated.

Click this to donate: KICKSTARTER

Thank you so much!!!

Even if you can't donate... come see this show in August.

~Feisty Actress