Feisty BLACK Actress Month: Week 3

Excuse me, but if you don't know who this woman is, you shouldn't even be spoken to.
You should just be ashamed.
Live out life as a hermit.
And die alone.

BUTTERFLY MCQUEEN.

yes, check out that name again.

Fine, I'll be nice. (For once...)
Wiki. her.

I can't even describe this woman fully because my whole body fills up with emotion.

She is best known for her role as PRISSY in "Gone with The Wind".

And even better known for saying the famous line:
"I KNOWS NUTTIN' BOUT BIRTHIN' BABIES, MISS SCARLETT."

which lead to the slap heard throughout the whole south.
O wait! That was slavery.

Reasons why this Feisty Actress loves Ms. McQueen:
1. I love Gone with the Wind.
2. She used to be a dancer with Katherine Dunham.
(Don't know who Katherine Dunham is?? HOLY CRAP!
You and Wiki should just become good friends.)
3. She never married.
4. She never had children.
(Sounds like MY kind of woman.)
5. When she died, she donated her body to medical science.
GANGSTA!!!

Check out her filmography. Bitch was in a lot of movies and TV shows. If you think about it, she was probably in movies you cherished.
OMG! She was in Mildred Pierce with another favourite of mine.
And my favourite made for TV movie: POLLY.

SEE it. It's her last performance.

Butterfly, bitch, you played a stereotype.
But you definitely were NOT one.
Hats off to you, bitch.

Feisty BLACK Actress Month: Week 2 (Catch up!!!)

Look at that Black family.
Eating.
Happiness.






O wait a minute!
Look at that Black family again.
There's some serious female strength emanating from the central figure with the beads....

ALFRE WOODARD, BITCHES!!!!!

Wiki her, fools.

She's a powerhouse of Black woman-ness, and needs to be recognized.
That black family photo comes from
a Spike Lee joint:
CROOKLYN.
O MY GOD! I love that movie.
Mostly because there's the funniest quote in it:
"Shut up, you evil, flat-chested wench."

Bitch also got an Emmy for her work on
the TV show: The Practice.
Did you watch it?
I know I didn't. But my parents loved that show, damn it!
And I gotta give them props for picking a show with some talented people, especially this bitch.

I also like her because she's around my mom's age,
and she's always showin' off her 2 best assets.

HOLY MACARONI, bitch!

I want that WIG.

OMG! If you have the backbone to laugh yourself silly and get a few naps during the day, please please please see:
GULLIVER'S TRAVELS .

It was a TV series for NBC.

But aside from that, Alfre played a great character:
Queen of Brobdingnag.

The name of the character should say it all.
AWESOME.

I mean... how many Black actresses get to wear Victorian costume and wigs and pull it off like we were meant to be royalty in that time?



What does Ms. Woodard have in common with my Week 1 Feisty Black actress??



LAURENCE FISHBOURNE, bitches.

He was in MISS EVERS' BOYS with Alfre.

Check this movie out.
I can't even tell how this movie/play makes me feel.
Check it out and then you'll find out why.
TUSKEGEE EXPERIMENT, my ass!!!!

THE PLAGUE= AHHHH!!!!!

UGH.



Finally the sick monster hit me.

Damn it, why didn't I get hit by YOU??


Apologies for not writing on this BLOG for so long.




Have you ever sat in your bed and carried a whole conversation with yourself?

And somewhere in the conversation you forget what you were about to say?

And then you think that you shouldn't have forgotten because you were your own audience, but realize that you must've been boring yourself?????


NO?

Well... I was very very very sick.


I'm back, bitches!

O NO YOU DIDN'T!!!!!

Let me apologize first:
For those who believe that spanking and hitting children is wrong,
I'm sorry for this post.

This post will definitely offend you.
I would apologize some more, but it just ain't my style.

And sometimes... those little f*ckers need to get what's coming to them.

And here's why.
Let me paint a picture for you....

I am walking home.
Happy.
Just got back from MEGA ORGANIC FOOD LANDIA.
Again, HAPPY.

Somewhere between 2nd and 3rd ave. and 118th street, in NYC...
I feel someone or something is following me.
ODD!
I can't see the shadow.
Maybe I'm just being crazy.
But since I'm a single Black female, I think I'm gonna turn around
just to make sure I don't have to scream out:
I HAVE HERPES.
(to keep rapists away....)
And what do I find?

Exhibit A:

A child with a stick.

This is not the child in question, unfortunately.

And the perpetrator did not have a ball.

All he had was a stick and it was aiming for my head.

Ready to swing away.









O yes. That's exactly what I said.
Stick. Aiming. My head. READY.

So I did what every other SINGLE BLACK FEMALE would do.
I ducked.
Then I GRABBED that little motherf*cker by his big PUFFY coat.
GRABBED THE STICK.
YELLED lots and lots of curse words at him, while he apologized profusely.
THREW him in a mound of snow that was about as tall as I am (5 ft. 1 inch)
And then proceeded to HIT him 2 times in the *ss with his own stick, while he cried.

Was this a bit much?
I ask you.... was it?


Exhibit B:

an ANGRY BLACK WOMAN.

Why are we ANGRY?

Maybe it's because little *ssholes, like Exhibit A, try to hit us upside the head with sticks.

And not a stick from a tree.

A stick that could've rendered me unconscious and probably without my wallet and jewelry.

This child did not know who he was messin' with.

I hope he cried all the way home.

I may be from QUEENS.

But I'll also kick yo *ss!!!

Food for thought.

Scarlett, I am pleasantly surprised...

There are very few times when I can say that I have actually been surprised.
Today, amazingly, I was.
I mean... (sigh)

GO SEE THIS PLAY.

If you cannot go to see it, because it costs lots of money, then you need to go the bookstore and READ it, because it was a pleasure to see this.

A PLEASURE. Un plaisir.

Truly.
And let me say also that I will admit:

I am usually a hater of Scarlett LIPS Juwannafuckme-ssen.

And I usually want her to stop biting her lips and making that doe eyed face of "HUH? Fuck me?"

BUT... that said...

She was quite good. I was happy to watch her performance, AND happy that I was watching her give herself to something and giving the play. Arthur Miller is probably very happy.

(I can't even begin to talk about Liev. I won't. Go see it. Liev, I heart you.)


And you know what, Scarlett? Instead of HATIN' on you...
I was hatin' on the woman playing: BEATRICE.

JESSICA HECHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING??

Do you even know??

OMG, people! I WANTED TO SLAP HER.

DO YOU HEAR THE WORDS COMING OUT OF YA MOUTH????
DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHY YA TALKIN???

Now... any of you who know the end of the play (it ain't happy)... this bitch let out a sound only a MOOSE could make. And why?? Were you fully invested?

UGH!!! Please go see it, and tell me I'm lying. Remind you of an earlier post? It should. UGH!

A MOOSE.

Sh*t! Get away, Bullwinkle!

Feisty BLACK Actress MONTH: Week 1

Excuse me, Tina, but you're not an actress.

"I'm your private dancer
A dancer for money
I'll do what you want me to do."

Yes! That's great, but what are you doing on my page?

"You're simply the best, better than all the rest
Better than anyone, anyone I've ever met
I'm stuck on your heart, I hang on every word you say
Tear us apart no, no, baby, I would rather be dead ."

What? I mean... Thank you? I mean... I love you--

"What's love got to do... got to do with it?
What's love... but a second hand emotion?
What's love got to do... got to do with IT?
Who needs a heart when a heart can be Broken?"

So True, Tina. But really....

O DAMN!!!!
That's not Tina.

ANGELA BASSETT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Check out those cheekbones.

Bitch, you had me fooled.

People! This bitch is fly.
Wiki her, bitches.

Since it's FEBRUARY, i.e. BLACK HISTORY MONTH
I'll be posting Feisty Black Actresses per week.
Angela is my first. TADA!

I mean... Check out these arms!!! Makes you want to do PUSH UPs and Lift weights, and eat only egg whites, don't it?


She looks effortlessly calm and toned, but she'll clock you. JUST ASK LAWRENCE FISHBOURNE!!!!


Also... Check out Angela in HOW STELLA GOT HER GROOVE BACK.

(And check out Taye Diggs. That man is so delicious. But... back to this lovely lady....)
She's a strong Black educated woman. And it's very rare to see that in films.

OMG! And if you haven't seen VAMPIRE IN BROOKLYN, with Eddie Murphy,
you are missing out on the best piece of CINEMA ever.
I mean.. it has DWAYNE WAYNE from DIFFERENT WORLD.
JASON from JASON'S LYRIC.
C'MON!!!
(lots of CAPS, but you love it, don't you, Kanye?)

Her acting saves the movie, but seriously...
if you haven't seen it, you are missing out.

BURN IT, Bitch.

BURN.

IT.

Yes, I've got a little bit of a PYRO sensibility.

But I love WAITING TO EXHALE.

And when Bernie throws all of her cheatin' husband's sh*t out... It makes me laugh and cry with excitement. There was so much murder in her eyes. I LOVE IT!!!!

(If you're a man reading this, and you're thinking: "Wow! Feisty Actress! I don't know if I want to date you.... ever." You are probably right! I'm murderous. But if you were to date me, you'd think twice before cheating on me or being stupid, wouldn't ya? WOULDN'T YA?!? [squint] )

THANK YOU, ANGELA BASSETT.
Your intensity has given Black women like me
a reason to look past the Angry Black Woman stereotype.
We're ANGRY at you for a reason, *ssHoles!!!

UNEMPLOYMENT has got to better than THIS.

There have been many days, where I would rather be like my friend here...

shovelling dung.

Rather than being at my day job.

Cwappy job indeed!


Not because they don't pay me well...

The pay is adequate, I guess, in a time when the economy is utter sh*t.

BUT.... Believe me, it is NOT ENOUGH to keep me sane.

Remember my physical response to my stress?? Well... I started thinking about this some more.
And recently while in this amazing Acting Workshop, the teacher made me realize that my life is what I make of it. And I am definitely not happy to say that I'm a (trumpet sound) Receptionist/personal assistant... on my TAX RETURNS.

That's it. GOODBYE, day job!!!
I quit.
TADA!!!

Don't get me wrong. I'm looking for a new job.
Actually... I'm looking for a few to subsidize my life.
To pay bills.
To pay for my living situation.
To pay for food.
To pay for school debt.
To pay for my addiction...
To pay to pay to pay....

But I realized that... while I'm here...
I might as well enjoy the experience instead of having HIVES.
And I will.
I'm driven. I'm educated. And I definitely don't want to be poor.
So... kiddies...
This Fiesty Actress is GROWING UP.

Don't believe it?

[Damn, Steven.]

Les Parapluies de FEISTY!

Qui es?

Savez-vous qui elle est?

Claquez-vous!

Voilà.

CATHERINE DENEUVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wiki elle, Chiennes.

Vous êtes-vous réveillé ?
Oui, je parle de vous.

Tout le vous devrait observer le film : Les Parapluies de Cherbourg,
dirigé près Jacques Demy.
Les Françaises chantent! Les Françaises chantent! Les Françaises chantent!

Regardez-la ! Ressembler à Anna Karenina.
Ne branchez pas devant le train!!!!
Votre baggage est trop fabuleux.

C'est exact, chienne. Priez!
Combien de femmes peuvent être comme vous?
Elle était amoureux de Marcello Mastroianni. CHAUD!
Condamnez-vous, fille ! Je souhaite que j'aie été vous.
Il était meilleur que Daniel Day Lewis.
Ne me croient pas ? Regardez le film initial de Felini.
Une scène.

Quand vous devenez « le visage » de Chanel,
alors parlez-moi au sujet de la beauté,
du modèle
et de la grace.

(Tous les « visages » de Chanel sont les femmes blanches. Trop mauvais, eh?)

Jusque-là…

Je sais que j'avais seulement parlé de sa beauté et impressionnant.
Mais elle est vraiment un plaisir en ses films.
Je détruirais pour sa carrière et ses yeux.

Merci boucoup.

(Si je détruisais la langue française dans ce poteau, je suis désolé.)