O NO YOU DIDN'T!!!!!

Let me apologize first:
For those who believe that spanking and hitting children is wrong,
I'm sorry for this post.

This post will definitely offend you.
I would apologize some more, but it just ain't my style.

And sometimes... those little f*ckers need to get what's coming to them.

And here's why.
Let me paint a picture for you....

I am walking home.
Happy.
Just got back from MEGA ORGANIC FOOD LANDIA.
Again, HAPPY.

Somewhere between 2nd and 3rd ave. and 118th street, in NYC...
I feel someone or something is following me.
ODD!
I can't see the shadow.
Maybe I'm just being crazy.
But since I'm a single Black female, I think I'm gonna turn around
just to make sure I don't have to scream out:
I HAVE HERPES.
(to keep rapists away....)
And what do I find?

Exhibit A:

A child with a stick.

This is not the child in question, unfortunately.

And the perpetrator did not have a ball.

All he had was a stick and it was aiming for my head.

Ready to swing away.









O yes. That's exactly what I said.
Stick. Aiming. My head. READY.

So I did what every other SINGLE BLACK FEMALE would do.
I ducked.
Then I GRABBED that little motherf*cker by his big PUFFY coat.
GRABBED THE STICK.
YELLED lots and lots of curse words at him, while he apologized profusely.
THREW him in a mound of snow that was about as tall as I am (5 ft. 1 inch)
And then proceeded to HIT him 2 times in the *ss with his own stick, while he cried.

Was this a bit much?
I ask you.... was it?


Exhibit B:

an ANGRY BLACK WOMAN.

Why are we ANGRY?

Maybe it's because little *ssholes, like Exhibit A, try to hit us upside the head with sticks.

And not a stick from a tree.

A stick that could've rendered me unconscious and probably without my wallet and jewelry.

This child did not know who he was messin' with.

I hope he cried all the way home.

I may be from QUEENS.

But I'll also kick yo *ss!!!

Food for thought.