Resolution or Resolve?

HAPPY NEW YEAR, BITCHES!!!
Welcome 2010.

I am so fucking glad 2009 is over.
It was a bad year.
I don't think I will drink wines bottled from this year.
They are poisoned.
Poisoned with loss.
Poisoned with bitterness, mixed with some more loss.
Poisoned with life's UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH..........


But, YAY 2010!!!
Did you make a resolution this year?

What was it?

Are you sure that's what you want to do in 2010??

Is it actually attainable?
Or did you chose something like...
"In 2010, I'm gonna be a better person to my friends and loved ones."
MALARKY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let's be real, liars.
You want to do something in 2010?
How about... hmmm....
This year I'm gonna stop watching porn on the TV.
I will instead watch it for free on You-Porn.

TADA!
That is attainable, and cost friendly.
RECESSION, bitches.

But...Jumping Jellyfish!

I am sooooooooo SICK of people saying that they're gonna lose weight in the New Year.

You know what???

You said that last year.
You said that the year before that.

AND You know what, UNGRATEFUL??

Maybe you should just say that this year you'll take better care of your body. That way when you're not putting the pressure of losing all that weight on you.

Believe me, people! You are all beautiful.
Except you, Marilyn.
And you, baby. Yeah, you!
But otherwise... Yeah... I'd probably bang you out.
Remember that in 2010. [Wink]

But let's be honest, ladies and gentlemen.
I do have a resolution this year.
Just one.
And I am resolved to see it come to fruition.
I cannot say it, because like a wish, if you say it, it won't come true.
But believe me, it's a doozy.



To quote song from a children's film that I watched recently:
No matter how your heart keeps dreaming, if you keep on believing...
The dreams that you wish will come true.
(If you don't know what movie that is from, you have had a horrible childhood. And you need lots of therapy, STAT.)
Ok.... i'll be nice. Here you go: TADA!!!!!