ENABLER!

Eww! Eww!! EWWWW!!!!

Woman! What is your problem?

STOP ENABLING those pigeons to
POOP on the rest of us!!!!!

Today, as I was walking to the subway to go to work, there was a woman who was casually walking, and literally whistling as she kicked her feet... and then randomly she threw BREAD at me! Yes.... AT ME! She didn't mean to (so she says) as it turns out. As she apologized profusely for hitting me, as I accosted her with CURSE words only known by sailors and pirates, (ARRRRrr!!! Brethren....) ...she explained that she was trying to "feed the poor animals".

I looked at her stunned.
PIGEONS are not "poor animals".
They're PIGEONS.
Birds that have no purpose.
They are not pretty. They are not cute.
They are a NYC nuisance.

TANGENT TOPIC:
This reminds me of the man who lives next to my parents. Let's call him: Mr. Boat.

(He has a boat that used to take fishing that now lives in the front of his yard. He and his wife plant flowers in it. And not pretty flowers. Ugly middle finger plants. They look like they're flipping you off. AHHH!!!!)

But anyway.... Mr. Boat and his wife like to put food outside for all of the cats that live in my parents' neighborhood. These cats then POOP on my dad's car.

My dad owns a Benz.
(Yes, my dad is vain, and loves his car. But cmon? Who doesn't like luxury.)

This does NOT make my dad happy.

My father has tried to tell his neighbor that he should reconsider helping the cats who probably have rabies, and various other diseases.

But the neighbor does NOT get it.

In fact.... he used to be friends with my dad.

But since my dad had damage (scratch marks) done to his car by the cats, my dad has stopped talking to him.

I mean... REALLY!?!?! Do you have no shame????
Yes, it's a cat.
But would you feed a lion the same way???
They can just kill yo ass.
You are food.

Exhibit A:
THE PROBLEM.
One of the defendants and the incriminating book.
They have a HOW TO, bitches.
Leave them be.

Exhibit B:

The EQUALIZER.

My dad made one of these to get rid of the cats. (My mother was not happy about the cats or the new weapon.)

I am not suggesting cruelty to animals.

I am saying CRUELTY to all those who feed the animals.

'Cuz damnit! If I had one of those this morning, that lady would've gotten a pebble in the eye.

GOTCHU, BITCH!

Gotchu.