Are you really THAT big?

MEN!
This post is for you.

Is your peen really that huge
that you need to keep your legs open
as wide as they can possibly be on the train?

No really! I want to know.
Here is a ruler.
I want to know how much you got.

Because I don't even think it's a matter of size.
I have figured it out:

YOU ARE JUST RUDE.

It's like all men have been taking SUMO wrestling lessons.

They have to get the optimum squat in order to take up as much space as possible.

Because what would happen if you did let me sit next to you?

You'd get a STIFFY that would make baby carrots jealous??

I mean.... Really???

THE TRAIN IS CROWDED.

My 5'1" self is smushed in the armpit of some Frenchman who refuses to wear deodorant who is with his mean faced, red lipstick wearing girlfriend, speaking French like I don't understand it (but I do) about how the NYC subway system is disgusting.

I would be able to sit, but the man in front of me has his legs open to the point that if he did have a VAG, i'd be able to see all the way up to his esophagus.

And WHY....

WHY are you reading the newspaper completely spread out like you're at the kitchen table??


THIS AIN'T YO HOUSE!

Display your masculinity somewhere else.
I just need to rest my feet.
Ta-Ding!