single life

 QUESTION:
 when did opinions become unsexy?!



 ANSWER:
ha! when hot bimbos have none.

WHY ME?!

Someone stole $1000 from me....

HSBC called me to tell me that they believed some fraudelent charges had occured with my account.

THEY WERE RIGHT!!!!

I would never take out $1000 from my account. 

From a Citibank, no less. Nor down on Canal Street.

What would I need $1000 for on Canal Street?

300 fake Kate Spade bags?

1666 drawing pencils from Pearl Paint?

400 dumplings from Chinatown?

On top of that, I am PO'.
I can't even afford the last two letters.
Why do these butt pirates think it's alright to steal from the PO???
ROBIN HOOD is famous for a reason!
NOT for d*ckin around, dumb*sses!

How do these motherF*ckers do it??
Either they are extremely smart or just LUCKY and either way... I hate them.

But seriously... Why me?

That's all I kept asking the universe.

I take it from the universe's silence that the answer is simply: 

IT HAPPENS TO ALMOST EVERYONE!

GET OVER IT AND MOVE ON!

I hope there's a KARMA meter somewhere in the world. 

 Those *ss munchers who did this to me better have it coming to them in the end.

THANKS TO EVERYONE who sent me virtual hugs and love when I was sad.

To keep myself from crying too much about THE MONEY LOSS, 

I will remember this Cee Lo Green classic...

note to penis havers

dear men everywhere,

when i ask you out for a drink... that's all i want.
a drink. the two of us. maybe a conversation?
(or we could be silent and make silly faces.)
things i do not want: babies. blood. marriage.
don't hyperbolize the invite.

sincerely,
a woman who just likes alcohol