1am rhetorical questions

Why do you NOT answer my texts??


WHY is a very hard thing to answer, isn't it?


subquestions:
are they rude?
do they offend you?
do they suggest something to you other than what is written?

if the answer is NO to any or all of the subquestions, then next question is...

...Why do i consider you a friend?

Food for thought.

Body Pride

why are there people,

most specifically men,
who put up pictures of their 4-6-8 pack abs
all over Facebook/YouTube/Instagram/etc.???

i get it! you work out.

believe me, i'm proud of you.

But... Seriously?

Oh! you are serious.

Ok.
i'm gonna start putting up pictures of random parts of my body.
let's see how you like that.

1st up.

MY EAR.

Hot stuff, right???

Look at that lobe.

Oo!!!
And a piercing!!!

Look at the sloping of the concha.
And curvature of that helix.

If you're not turned on, I suggest you take a second look.
The anatomy of THE EAR is amazing.
You know you want this!

Keyser Söze knows Shakespeare??

Before things jump off:

SHOUTS OUT to the company that shall remain anonymous for giving me FREE tickets. For those who don't know me...

You say: "Feisty Actress... This hot dog is FREE!"

I say: "SHUTTUP! It's MINE."

Not only was I seated in the ORCHESTRA.
But I was CENTER ORCHESTRA.
And only about 6 rows away from the action.
My friend, LC and I had the best seats in the house!!!
BOOM!!!
AWESOME.

Okay... here we go...

RICHARD III

"Now is the winter of our discontent
Made glorious summer by this sun of York;
And all the clouds that lour'd upon our house
In the deep bosom of the ocean buried."

Wait... Hold up!!!

Keyser Söze???

AHHH!!! Whatchu doin' here????

OH SH*T!!!!!!!!!!!

I say: Ooo Gurl... This gotta be good... Right??

You say: RIGHT!!!

3 hours and 1 intermission later....

WHAT THE EXPLETIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Keyser Söze.

(shakin' my head)

Keyser.

(taking a moment.)

• Q1: WHY ARE YOU YELLING HALF OF YOUR LINES?????????????
• Q2: WHY ARE YOU MUMBLING THE OTHER HALF??????????????
• Q3: DO YOU REALIZE THAT PUTTING WEIGHT ON THE 'LIMP' LEG IS COUNTER-INTUITIVE??? WHY EVEN HAVE THE CANE???
• Q4: IF RICHARD HAS A HUMP and A LIMP and was BORN THIS WAY, DON'T YOU THINK HE WOULD'VE MASTERED HIS PHYSICALITY INSTEAD OF LOOKING LIKE HE WAS ABOUT TO TOLL THE BELLS OF THE CATHEDRAL??
• Q5: DID THE DIRECTOR JUST LET YOU DO WHATEVER YOU WANT???
  

Because... you just MASTURBATED all over that stage and I feel like a bit sticky.
And not the kind of SPEWY that makes you luxuriate in the "WOW! we just shared something." But it was the kind of SPUNK that makes you wanna shower and gargle and disinfect everything.

You know what... You get how I feel.
Let's talk about it in PERSON.

xxx

MTA. i hate you.

dear M116 bus,

you are the SLOWEST bus ever.
In fact, one could wait an hour, and you will will not show up.
what is the deal?

did I walk from lenox ave. to my apartment at 1.30am?

did a nice, though SKETCHY looking, Hispanic man on a bike ask me, in Spanish no less, if i needed someone to walk with me??
when i said "No, gracias" (aka the only Spanish I could muster in my sleepy state), did he still walk ahead of me?
And did I feel like I had a Dominican Kevin Costner??

M116 bus, you do NOT complete me.

regards,
me

HURRY my CANE!

Damn!!! This weekend was boring.

I painted my toes 4 times.

Yes, 4 times!

My 2 grandmothers combined could've caused more HYPE & destruction than this hurricane in NYC.

Mind you... I have North Carolina and the Bahamas in my thoughts. They were slammed and do not wish their fate on NYC.

But...

I do have a few things to say about this whole weeekend.

F. U. Irene.

F. U. MTA for not being gangsta enough! I had places to be.

F.U. Weather.com and Weather Channel in extension.

You scared all of us into a stupor!

F.U. crazy Upper East Siders!!

You all made supermarkets unapproachable with your organic food needs. Seriously?? You need 3 boxes of organic juice during a possible crisis??

F.U. television.

(I don't even have cable, and yet I know that t

here was nothing on TV.)

F.U. everyone who kept saying on Facebook

that we were all gonna die.

Honestly... if we're all gonna die, the last thing I want to read

on my social network is your call of distress.

F.U. Religionists.

(do you want me to go there? 'cuz I will... nah! you don't want it.)

Have a nice day!

~Feisty

Support???

YO, BITCHES!

Please support this show & Sanguine Theatre Company!

(I'm in it. BOOM!)

Even a $1 would be appreciated.

Click this to donate: KICKSTARTER

Thank you so much!!!

Even if you can't donate... come see this show in August.

~Feisty Actress

Summer Fashion?? Summer Trashin??

OMG! the temperature has reached 70 degrees and more in city.

( insert lackluster display of emotion.)

DUH! this is what happens in the SUMMER.

Get over it!

It gets HOT in NYC and it gets Humid.

Don't like it??

MOVE!

But unlike most years, in Summer 2011 a plethora of species came out of the woodwork

who had been in hiberation, like bears in their dens.

Take out your binoculars, folks!

See if you're standing, sitting, talking to one of these beauties.

The No Bra Beetles

BEHOLD!!!!!!!

You have decided that the heat that 1 piece of clothing offers is TOO much.

You are just gonna rock out with your nips out.

Seriously... your protrusions are distracting and unnecessary

when I'm walking around doing my grocery shopping.

This is not even the FROZEN section!!!!

They are out and about like it's 20 degrees.

Big boobs. Little boobs.

WEAR SOMETHING!!!

I seriously doubt that THAT piece of clothing is making you sweat more.

On top of that, you are FLOPPING around, and not in a cute way.

Don't you want some support?

Even if you have pert and perky boobs, I'm trying to figure out if they're fake or real.

There are far too many inventions in the lingerie world for you to not wear something.

Funky Frumps

Do you not wear DEO for a reason?

Did you forget to reapply 5 hours later?

Have you been rolling around in dirt, stinky cheese, curry and onions?

WTF!!!!!

You are offending my senses.

My eyes are watering from your smell. That's how bad it is.

I can't think.

All I'm thinking about is vomitting or running for my life.

Especially on the train.

HAVE SOME COMMON DECENCY!!

We're all cramped and pushed up on one another and then you gotta stink??

If you are homeless, I get it.

The heat mixed with your lack of water and soap equals stench.

But if you are not a homeless, WHAT is your EXCUSE???

Are you trying to attract a Goblin?

OhHellNaws

Somethings are best left on a magazine or model.

Even Nikki Minaj can't pull off this "outfit" on that cover.

She looks a HOT MESS!

Ladies, if you can't fit into a bandeau... don't wear it.

If you have more rolls than a bakery...

don't put them in some shorts and on the street for all to peruse your wares.

Too much CELLULITE on the street blinds me

from the red and green lights that I should be paying attention to,

so that I don't get hit by a bus.

Attack of the Sockfoot Sandal

why???

WHY???

WHY??????

Are your feet that jacked up, gentlemen?

Got some serious hangnails???

Please STOP doing this!!!!!!

It is not attractive.

Look! I know, I know!

Dior says that socks with heeled sandals are Fashionable now.

But THIS is NOT a Dior look that I'm talkin' about.

Yo Adidas flat sandals and yo Marshalls ankle socks are NOT cool.

And aren't yo feet hot???